How Pole Dancing Will Ruin You (For The Wrong People)

There are certain experiences you go through that make you reevaluate your life. It can range from spending time on your favorite therapist’s couch all the way to the extreme nature of a near death experience and it changes you irreversibly. It just so happens that pole dancing is one of those things.

Your first thought is, sure, it makes me feel sexy and fierce, so voila: a change! Still, let’s unpack it a little further.

Pole dancing is full of questions: can I do this trick? Can I bend that far? Is this a good grip? Can I do this on my weaker side? Is it worth it? Can I work it? Can I put my thang down flip it and reverse it? In your first few classes, these questions are little whispers that get drowned out by the collective enthusiasm and excitement of this new adventure. But, as you get more advanced and the tricks get more challenging, those questions become the crux of your movement and wellbeing. As you are spinning upside down, hanging by just the skin of the back of your knee, you calmly check in with yourself and ask, "Am I okay here and would I like to go further?” Your absolute faith in the answer to that question and all other questions you pose to yourself going forward, will change you.

What will you decide?

A. Come out of the trick safely and reset your grip/ask clarifying questions to the instructor.

B. Stay in the trick as is and see if you can hold it long enough to get the exact shape you were aiming for.

C. Move into the next part of the combo which will likely prove to be more challenging and will test your stamina.

New dancers think that answer A is the mark of failure, but seasoned dancers will tell you that answering the question with certainty is the real success. That answer, of course, impacts your physical safety and over time you learn to listen to your gut. Coming out of a trick that didn’t have a safe grip is as powerful as doing a complex combo. This absolute certainty in your comfort level will become a habit that shines into the rest of your life and will have you making choices that you unwaveringly stand by.

Someone is pushing you sexually before you’re ready?

I am not okay here and I would not like to go further.

You step out of your comfort zone to try something exciting?

I am okay here. I am going further.

You have your dream job already and feel content for now?

I am okay here, I would not like to go further.

So, if you’re prepping for your first pole class, get everyone in your life ready for you to be able to voice your needs. You may realize your partner isn’t the one for you. You may decide to embrace your sexuality in a way you never have before. You may settle in to a life uniquely designed for you; and that’s on boundaries, Baby.